History Tends To Repeat Itself
by AlexForrest5
Summary: Another missing/alternate scene, this time in 3x04. After breaking things off with Alex, Sean runs into Michael and explains why he's leaving. They discuss Division and Alex. I wanted to write a piece exploring Sean's head space during this storyline a bit, because the episode made him look like a douche. Hope I managed it. Feedback is loved! Enjoy.


**A/N: Given my huge disappointment with certain elements of Season 3, I've decided to start writing some alternate or missing scenes that "fix" the problems I had with the story and characterization. This is my second one. Even though I'm not a huge fan of Alex and Sean as a couple, I feel the writers really did them a disservice this season, all the way up to Sean's death. So I guess I'm trying to write my own version of their relationship in this season. Don't know if I'll write any more "Salex" or what it will be like, but hopefully inspiration strikes soon. :)**

God, he was sick of those narrow, bare-walled corridors, which felt like a never-ending maze. In fact, he was sick of the entire place. There's only so long you can be underground before it starts to feel suffocating, despite the steady supply of air, and you really start to crave natural light. Those fluorescent lights were cold, lifeless; "home" was the last thing they brought to mind, which made it puzzling that many recruits used to live in that place for months. He would have probably gone crazy.

Now that he came to think about it, maybe there was a reason Division felt like a maze: to drive home the message that you were trapped. You were essentially Percy and Amanda's lab rat, and only they would decide whether or not to let you out to play. On his or her own, no recruit could find a way out of the maze.

Strangely enough, even though she hadn't been a recruit – and therefore, a prisoner -for a long time, Alex didn't seem to be able to get out, either.

As he reached Ryan's office, Sean shook his head, trying to will those thoughts away. It wasn't that Alex _couldn't_ leave, it was that she wouldn't. Every day she walked into that place, as if she wasn't a billionaire who was free to go live it up on in some exotic locale, she was making a choice, and he was in no position to tell her it was the wrong one. He could only confess to how that choice made him feel. To the fact that he couldn't deal with it.

He knocked. There was no answer. After a few seconds, he tried again, but to no avail.

"He's not there," called a gruff voice.

Sean looked to his left. It was Michael.

"He's still in Ops, trying to calm everyone down," Michael added, with more than a hint of frustration. "Amanda's got them pretty spooked."

Sean sighed. "I guess now isn't the best time."

Michael raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

Sean was hesitant to tell Michael why he needed to see Ryan. He was kind of hoping to just talk to "the boss" and then leave, without any goodbyes. It wouldn't be great form, but he was in no mood to go through the process of explaining to everyone _why_ he was leaving. If he told them the real reason, they were likely to judge, even if it was just through disdainful looks. And the feeling that maybe he deserved it made Sean even more reluctant to have that conversation. However, Michael had asked him directly and he respected him enough to not blow him off with some lame lie.

"I'm leaving Division," Sean said slowly, as if inviting Michael to cut him off mid-sentence. "Going back to the Navy."

Michael looked… not so much surprised, but curious. "Really? I know you don't have any real ties to this place, but I always thought you stayed because of…"

"Alex," Sean finished for him. "Yeah, well, not anymore." He walked past Michael and was about to turn a corner when Michael called out to him again.

"Wait. Did you two break up?"

Sean turned around, unsure of what to say. He didn't know if going into this in excruciating detail was the last thing he wanted to do right now, or something he _had_ to do to get everything off his chest. It wasn't as if he had someone else with whom to commiserate about this. None of his friends, family members or fellow sailors knew, or could be told, half the story.

"I'm not sure we were together in the first place, but yeah," Sean grimaced as he took a few steps towards Michael.

"I don't suppose this has anything to do with last night's dinner…?" Michael asked pointedly, looking as if he was already catching on.

"Look, I'm sorry about snapping like that," Sean truthfully replied. "I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I get what Nikita means to Alex, I do. So I get why she's doing this. But I can't be the one who just stands there and waits for disaster to strike. This place is a mine field, Michael, and it's just a matter of time until Alex steps on one."

"This isn't Percy's Division anymore," Michael insisted, in what was meant to be an assured tone, but Sean could tell wasn't entirely devoid of doubt. "_We_'re in control now. And once we make things right, we get rid of this place once and for all."

"You really think you can control Division?" Sean felt his temper rising again. He was incredulous at Michael more or less repeating Alex's words. Was everyone blind? "My mother _created_ Division, Michael, and look what happened to her and the rest of Oversight. Now, if you think they got what they deserved, I don't blame you. But the point is, if you don't learn your lesson, history tends to repeat itself."

"Not if we change the way we do things around here. We already have." Michael sighed, trying to think of a way to placate Sean. "Look, I know you're used to doing things a certain way. I'm a sailor too, remember? So when I first got here, it didn't make any sense to me either. Division's M.O. wasn't like anything I'd ever seen before. But if you don't have a crazy son of a bitch like Percy running things, you can use that to do some real good."

Sean considered Michael's words for a few seconds, but found he wasn't reassured. He shook his head. "I don't believe in that. I'm sorry. The agents here don't even exist on paper! Everything we do is covered up with lies! That's not what I learned as a SEAL – Honor, Courage and Commitment. It's how things start spiraling out of control… and people get hurt."

This was followed by a long moment of silence. Finally, Michael spoke. "Look, Sean, I get why you're scared for Alex. Believe me, every time Nikita's out on a mission and I'm not there to watch her back, I can barely focus on what I'm doing, because I'm too busy being terrified that she won't come back this time. But if it's a choice between that and not having her at all, god knows I can manage."

"But why does that have to be the choice?" Sean said quietly, feeling defeated. He wasn't sure whether he was talking to Michael or himself.

The two men once again stood in silence for a beat. Sean began to wonder if he only even decided to have this conversation because he was hoping Michael would talk him out of his decision. If so, it hadn't worked.

"Well, I should go find Ryan," he said eventually, doing his best to sound businesslike. He turned to leave, but then Michael addressed him again.

"Sean... she means a lot to you, doesn't she?"

The young SEAL gave a bittersweet smile. "I love her. That's exactly why I can't do this anymore."

At that, he finally turned on his heel and began to walk in the direction of Ops, disappearing from Michael's view shortly thereafter.


End file.
